The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be great too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted to incredibly tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, love, well-being, and nearness .

However when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They probably would not admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a number of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in metropolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to find more your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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